The Letters That Love Never Knew
by beexfeatheryduster
Summary: Whilst attending Severus Snape's funeral, Hermione is given something that will change her forever
1. 21st May 1998

**Authors note: Just a little fun, inspired by a fic I read (can't remember what its called) about Hermione writing three letters to Severus after his death; just in reverse. Hope you enjoy- Bee x**

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The funeral had been a sad affair, yes, but it had been all the worse for Hermione for two reasons. The first reason, most of those in attendance cared nothing for him in his life and thought of him as nothing other than the personification of evil intent, or as a bitter twisted old man out for revenge for the most minor of offences. It was only after the truth was revealed that anyone seemed to care, and then the claims began. How they had always known the truth, that it was all a charade. It filled Hermione with an anger she had not felt for such a very long time. How dare they, how very dare they?

The second reason the funeral had been difficult for Hermione was due to the letters. After the funeral service she had been standing, by herself, staring out at the lake. Like Albus Dumbledore's funeral service, Severus Snape's had been conducted at Hogwarts. Hermione had wondered why for a few moments until Harry had told her. It was the same reason that he had desired so greatly to stay at Hogwarts during all the holidays, summer included (although that was not possible), Hogwarts was the only real home Severus Snape had ever known. As the other attendees had mingled and spoken to the various others at the service, Hermione had discreetly slipped away to organise her thoughts. She may have the status of a war hero, but it was not really all that important. She had not been a spy for the Light, nor had she been Harry Potter or even Ronald Weasley. She was nothing, especially if she couldn't even do something so simple as to save a brave man who had been willing to give everything he had and everything he was for love, and for justice and honour.

Hermione had been standing, looking out across the lake, trying to avoid the tears that threatened to spill over. She had failed, and a man had lost his life for it. He did not like her, but that did not matter. Hermione Granger hated failing, and she had failed. More to the point though, she had failed to save a life worth saving. Her heart had told her, as she had watched him die, that his life had been worth saving, that there was more to all this seemed. Yet she had not listened, she had indulged her worthless mind, and he had died because of it. The guilt for that, it would weigh on her conscience forever. No matter how many times people told her it was not her fault, she knew it was.

"Hermione?" A voice had called to her, forecefully propelling Hermione from her thoughts. She had turned, and been surprised to find Minerva Mcgonogal standing behind her.

"What can I do for you Professor?" Hermione asked politely, hoping that the elder Scottish woman had not been standing calling for her and Hermione had ignored her

"Please, dear, call me Minerva. I volunteered to clean out Spinners End, and Severus' apartments in the castle. I was organizing his belongings when I found these, within a box" Minerva had reached into her robe pocket and withdrawn a stack of letters, tied together with a black satin ribbon. Minerva held the letters out to Hermione. She hesitated for a moment before taking the letters from Minerva. Hermione looked down at the letters, undeniably curious about them. On the first letter was her name printed in the spidery elegance that was the handwriting of Severus Snape. Confused Hermione lifted the corner of the first letter to see what was written on the surface of the second. Once again, it was her name. **_Hermione Jean Granger_**

_"_Are- Are these for me?" Hermione asked. As soon as the words left her mouth she realised exactly how ridiculous they were. Minerva did not mention the stupidity of her question, probably guessing that it was a natural reaction to shock. Minerva nodded and placed her hand on Hermione's shoulder. She squeezed before turning and walking away, leaving Hermione on her own once more.

Hermione looked down at the letters in her hand. Within her hand there was a mystery; why would Severus Snape write to her? What did these letters contain? She could not help herself, she could not leave the mystery of these letters unsolved. She would have to read them, the compulsion was so strong. Hermione brushed her fingers along the parchment and softly caressed the satin ribbon. She didn't know why but she shut her eyes and lifted the letters up so they were level with her and inhaled. The smell of the potions classroom, of the potions master, flooded her senses. These letters smelled exactly like he did. She opened her eyes again and placed the letters within her pocket. She would look at them later, she would discover what they contained later. For now though, she would just remember. Hermione would stare across the surface of the Black Lake, and she would remember a great man, a great man who she killed.


	2. Last Will and Testament

**Authors note: I was struck by the idea for this chapter, at the end of the first paragraph, so it wasn't originally planned to go the way it went. I think it makes it more interesting though, don't know about you. Thank you so much for the reviews everyone, I really am glad your liking this piece. Hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the first, if not more- Bee x**

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Hermione had decided to keep what had transpired at the funeral a secret, even from the girl she considered to be a sister and confidante. Ginny Weasley. Despite not being told that something had happened, Ginny still knew, and Hermione had found herself being watched rather closely by the younger witch. In true Ginny style though, Hermione had not been questioned by her, merely scrutinized for most of each day. This behaviour had gone on for weeks until Ginny was eventually satisfied that nothing was amiss. As such Hermione had been unable to find any time in which to open the letters and find out what was contained within them. Hermione didn't even know why she hadn't told Ginny, or anyone else for that matter. After all, they were only letters. Then, as she had thought on it, Hermione had realized exactly why she was keeping a secret from her friends. Those letters were addressed to her, and they were meant only for her. If the others knew about the letters they would either want them destroyed, or would want to divulge their contents. Hermione couldn't let that happen. Severus Snape had been a very private man, and his life had been laid open for everyone to see. She could at least afford him some small modicum of privacy when everything else was laid out bare for the world to know.

Hermione had been sitting in the library of Grimmauld Place, curled up on the worn sofa that Harry had yet to replace, absorbed by the latest potions textbook she had gotten her hands on. In the short time since the War had ended and peace had been returned to the Wizarding World, Hermione had been offered many different jobs, as had Harry and Ron. She had declined all, deciding instead that she would do a further in-depth study of potions. Professor Slughorn had slipped into retirement, despite Minerva doing her best to keep him at Hogwarts so as to avoid searching for a new professor to take the post, but he had been more than willing to extend an offer to Hermione. She knew well enough exactly why he had done such a thing; he still wanted her on his 'shelf', a war hero and what better way to do that than to help her study to become a Potions Mistress. The arrangement had benefited Hermione and so she had jumped at the offer. Now, she found herself with a list of texts to study and she was enjoying every single moment of it. For the first time in a long time, she felt at rest and at peace with the world. Then a knock had came at the door; fate was delivering a message to Hermione

Hermione had looked up, a look of annoyance dominating her expression at the interruption. She called for whomever it was to come in, and to be quick about it. She wanted to get the books finished as soon as possible. Hermione had always been an avid reader but these books were probably the best she had ever came across. Harry came in, looking rather sheepish when he noticed that Hermione had been in the midst of studying. Hermione's expression softened when she noticed it was Harry, and that he seemed rather contrite and embarrassed that he had interrupted her studying time

"What can I do for you Harry?" She asked, her tone polite as always. Manners didn't cost a thing, and Hermione had been brought up with that drilled into her mind from a very young age.

"I've just had a floo call from Minerva. She wants us to come to Hogwarts" Harry explained. Hermione sensed that there was more to be told and she frowned slightly as Harry did not appear t be forthcoming with whatever information he was withholding at that moment

"Why?" Hermione asked simply. She marked the page she was in, in her book with her velvet bookmark, her eyes never leaving Harry's the entire time

"Snape's will is being read, and we're in it" Hermione's hands stilled in the process of closing the heavy textbook in her lap. She took a deep breath in, her mind whirling with possibilities. She had letters from him, courtesy of Minerva, but his will? She was in his will. What had she ever done to him or for him to warrant being in his will? She had killed the man! Not directly, but she had been the reason he had died and not lived. Why, would he have put her in his will? Harry she could understand, after the memories he had given away to them in his last moments. Hermione shuddered as the image of the man's body as he took his last breaths dominated her mind. She could almost see his body before her on the floor, except he turned his head, his eyes locking with hers, looking beseechingly to her.

"Now?" Hermione asked, shaking to bring herself back to reality. She shut the textbook with an audible snap and placed it on the space of sofa beside her. Harry nodded and Hermione rose to her feet, ready to go. She crossed the short distance to Harry and followed him as he left the room

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Hermione was sitting on one of the chairs in front of Minerva's desk. The older woman was brandishing her tin of ginger newts in Hermione's face, urging the younger girl to take one. Hermione had refused politely at first but her patience was growing thin with the woman's constant demands for her to take a ginger newt. Harry was not sitting beside her, as she would have expected, he was deep in conversation with the portrait of Albus Dumbledore. Hermione was sitting in her chair, straight backed and stiff as a rod, refusing to look anywhere other than at Minerva or the desk before her. Severus Snape's portrait was here in the office, on the wall with the other Headmasters. She could not look at him; she could not run the risk of seeing the man. She could not look into the eyes of the strong, brave Potions Master who she had failed to save.

"Just take one of the newts Hermione, you look a bit peaky" Minerva's voice intruded upon Hermione's thoughts and before she even realized what she was doing, Hermione was on her feet

"I DON'T WANT A DAMNED BISCUIT!" She yelled at the shocked Headmistress. The room fell silent; no one spoke a word. Dumbledore was silent, as was Harry and Hermione could hear nothing else. Minerva was looking up at her with widened, shock filled eyes, her mouth hanging open slightly. Such an outburst was not characteristic of Hermione, but it was of someone else. Minerva's eyes flicked from Hermione to one of the portraits. Despite her curiosity, Hermione would not turn and look. She knew who Minerva was looking at

"Can we please just get this over with?" Hermione asked, her voice soft and quiet. She slumped down into the chair she had been sitting in before. She leant backwards, sighing heavily, the heel of her hand pressed against her forehead, her fingers tangled in her riotous curls. Hermione heard a movement to the side of her and felt Harry's hand on her arm. Hermione heard Minerva coughing before the older woman began to speak, her voice wavering slightly as she began. The waver soon disappeared as her shock at Hermione's outburst dissipated.

"This is the last will and testament of Severus Tobias Snape. I'm just going to skip to the crux of the matter. To Harry James Potter, I leave my pensieve for reasons I will not elaborate. To Minerva Mcgonogal I leave the inconsiderable wealth in my Gringotts account to be used to fund Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Lastly, to Hermione Jean Granger, I leave my home Spinners End, my potions equipment, my research journals and my extensive library collection, so she may become an even greater know-it-all than she already is" Minerva finished and looked over to Hermione who was frozen still in the same position.

"Hermione?" Harry asked, patting her on the arm to try and grab her attention Hermione was sure. Hermione looked up to him, her eyes meeting his own shocked emerald green eyes. She sighed heavily and rose to her feet, feeling a tiredness in her bones that had not been there before.

"I'm going to leave now, thank you Minerva" Hermione said, her voice emotionless and blank. She turned, bowing her head as she did, so she would not see the portrait of Severus Snape. She walked out of the office, not sure exactly where she was going. All she needed to do was get out of there, and try and make some sense of what had happened.

"I'm sorry" She murmured softly as she left, thankful for her wild untameable hair for once in her life. They hid her face from view, and so protected the tears spilling down her cheeks. She shut the office door behind her and made her way down the steps and through the corridors, still not sure where her legs were taking her. As her body walked, her thoughts ran wild. First the stack of letters at the funeral; now the will. He had left her so much, and he had hated her so much. Spinners End. She had possession of his home now. His potions equipment; that was her's too. The research journals, she had them, and his personal library, all her's now. Why? That was a question she didn't have an answer to. She knew where she could find the answer though. The answer lay within those letters. Those letters, they were in her pocket now.

Hermione stopped, suddenly realizing where she was. Without her being consciously aware of it, she had taken herself to the Potions Master's apartments in the castle. She was standing, in what would have been his lounge. The carpet was a deep emerald green, and the walls were the same colour. The room screamed Slytherin. There were many bookshelves, lining the walls, and there was a small armchair by a fireplace. Hermione had thought Minerva had been through his possessions, which was how she had found the letters. That was what Minerva had told Hermione. Clearly, that wasn't true, because the place looked as though it belonged to someone who was still alive. Hermione sighed, not sure exactly what game was being played. She felt though that she was the one being played with, by those in a greater position of power than her. Was it a game to see how long it would take before she was driven mad by her guilt? _If so, they don't have long to wait_ Hermione thought cynically, a humourless smile on her lips as she lowered herself into the armchair by the fireplace. The only way she would ever figure this out was if she read the letters. With no one there to watch and question her, now was the perfect time

Hermione dipped her hand into her pocket and removed the letters. With her other hand she withdrew her wand and enlarged the letters to their proper size. She removed the silk ribbon, dropping her wand to the floor. The ribbon closely followed and fluttered down gracefully to drape itself over her wand, although they were lovers. Hermione selected the first letter on the pile and opened the envelope. She removed the parchment from within the envelope and unfolded it. The first thing she noticed was that the letter was dated _September 1997_ Intrigued even moreso, now that she knew when the letter had been written (at the start of her sixth year) Hermione began to read


	3. September 1996

**Authors note: As Carondoiel pointed out in her review, I did get the date wrong so my apologies. I was counting backwards from the Final Battle and got slightl confused so my apologies. I did mean September 1996, not 1997. That has been changed here. Anyway, here's your first letter everyone. I hope it doesn't disappoint- Bee x**

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September 1996

_Hermione_

_Another year has started and this time, everything is going to be different. There are the little differences, such as my new teaching position as Defence Against The Dark Arts professor. Then there are the big differences, such as Draco Malfoy's task and my vows. I have coveted the position of Defence Professor, for so long I have wanted it. Now though, when I have finally been given what I desired, I find it to be hollow. There is only one reason I was given the position and one reason only. Albus wanted Horace Slughorn in the school, to extract a memory from him. Of course, the only way the old walrus would come back would be if he had a position to teach; potions. So it was that I was given the Defence position. Do you see why this victory is meaningless, why it lacks substance?_

_So much is going to happen this year Hermione, so many horrible things, and at the years close I may have to commit the greatest sin I eve could. If I ever needed a reminder that no one in this world cared for me, I was given it not that long ago. I wish you cared, and I wish I could send this letter to you. You are so intelligent and brilliant. Your soul is filled with caring and love, your heart is kind. None of that matters to me though, or so I would like to think. Your care goes to others. Your love goes to others. Your kindness, that too, goes to others. I can't say I blame you though. I am an old git sometimes. Potter and Weasley are right in that respect, I am foul sometimes. _

_I wish that things could be different but I know they never will be. If you ever read these letters, I hope you do so not with hate. Perhaps with that inquisitive curiosity of yours that could have damned you several times over. Just not with hate. If I could have changed the way things were, and will be, I would have done so. With regret, I cannot. I am only one man, one insignificant little man, controlled by two master manipulators. All I have in my life Hermione is that one cause. Since the moment of Lily's death it had been to destroy Voldemort. However, when I saw you in the hospital wing after the incident at the Department of Mysteries though, that cause changed. The cause I fight for, and will be more than willing to lay my worthless life down for, is to make sure that you live. You have so much promise, you will become a great witch, and I have complete faith in your abilities to change this world we live in. I would recommend a cause different from House Elf Liberation though. _

_I can only hope foolishly that I will still be alive to see you achieve your potential. I doubt it, but that does not stop me hoping. Your brought hope to me Hermione, and I will not lose it again, for you. _

_Severus Tobias Snape_

Hermione reached the end of the letter, a sad smile on her lips as she read his name, signed with a flourish she had thought he was incapable of. There was a lot Hermione thought Severus Snape was incapable of, and yet here was proof to destroy this perception. When she had first received the letters, Hermione had wondered and then began to speculate as to why he had written to her. At one point she had even thought that each letter was going to be filled with reprimands and comments that he had been unable to fit onto her essays. She wouldn't have put it past him.

Hermione remembered well what had happened that year, and when all had been revealed she had wondered what Severus Snape had thought of it all. In the memories he had give Harry, he had seemed genuinely pained by what he was going to have to do. Now, with this letter, she knew more and she assumed that with the other letters he would reveal even more to her. Within this letter, she had discovered how he had felt that no one had cared about him. As sad as it was, and as much as Hermione wanted to deny it, Hermione had to concede to the fact that it was true. Nobody had cared for Severus Snape, not even Albus Dumbledore who had manipulated him for his own purposes. _All's fair in love and war _Hermione snorted when the phrase entered her mind. That was a load of crap. There was nothing fair about what Dumbledore had asked Snape to do. There was nothing fair about what Snape had had to do throughout the war. As for love? Severus Snape also proved that nothing was fair. He had loved Lily Evan's, and she had never returned that love, even going so far as to cut him out of his life completely after he had spoken that one word 'mudblood' Hermione would never let Harry know this (for obvious reasons) but she thought his mum had been totally unjustified for her actions. Snape had attempted to apologize and Lily Evan's had been a complete bitch about it.

_For the Greater Good_ Hermione sighed heavily as that commonly spoken phrase entered her mind and rang in her ears. Dumbledore would say that all that had happened concerning Severus Snape had been for the greater good. Hermione would beg to differ. No matter how much it helped the cause, or no matter how much it was necessary, Hermione would never condone what had happened. Yet at the time she had. She had been taken in by the lies, and she had lost the long held faith she had had in Severus Snape. _Another reason to throw myself off the Astronomy Tower. Oh, bad choice of words Hermione _She thought to herself, wincing slightly. It was a very bad choice of words, considering what had happened on the Astronomy Tower last year.

Hermione folded the letter and slipped it back into its envelope, her mind still running over what had been in the letter. He said that his cause had changed, and that it was because of her. He said that the reason that he fought in the end was to keep her alive. He had even complimented her! He had also advised against campaigning for House Elf Liberation. Hermione could not help but chuckle lightly at that, despite herself. In that letter, Severus Snape had sounded nothing like his self. This led Hermione to believe that she had known pretty much nothing about the man. She had known his façade well, but the man inside? No, she had not known him. She had never even seen him. With these letters though, she would endeavour to know and, more importantly, understand.

She had brought hope to him, and Hermione felt her eyes' prickling with impending tears as she remembered that particular sentence '**I can only hope foolishly that I will still be alive to see you achieve your potential' **He had not lived though. That would not stop Hermione from fulfilling her potential. She would not do it for her though; she would do it for him. With that resolve made and firm in her mind Hermione rose from the armchair, bending to pick up her wand and the black silk ribbon. She bundled the letters together and carefully and delicately tied the ribbon around them again. She tapped her wand on the letters, shrinking them and lacing them back in her pocket. She would look at the next letter later. For now though she would do Minerva a favour. With her heart still heavy with sorrow Hermione conjured several cardboard boxes. She placed them on the floor by the bookshelves and she approached the shelves in question.

Hermione ran her fingers along the spines of some of the books, smiling sadly at some of the titles that leapt out at her. These books she was touching now, that he had once selected with his thin pale fingers to read, were potions texts. They would make for interesting, and informative, reading. Sighing again, Hermione focused on her task and began to empty the bookshelf, running her fingers along each book as she removed it. As she did so, Hermione once again remembered the man who had owned them before placing them in the box


	4. Life In Death

**Authors note: For once, this isn't about me. Funny aint it? I just wanted to take this oppertunity to thank shurfine who looked over this chapter for me before posting. Changes were made, for the better. Ha better, beta, don't they sound similar? It's like serious and sirius. Anyway, everybody, say thank you with me... Hmm, maybe another day then. Enjoy =D - Bee x**

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Whilst Hermione read the letter and packed away the books, the man who her thoughts were centered on had been engaged in a rather tense discussion with Minerva McGonagall and Harry Potter. As soon as Hermione had left the office, both had turned to him with questions hanging on their tongues and painted in their eyes. Severus had waited patiently for them to ask away, a pleasure he had very rarely granted when he was alive. There was a pregnant pause that lasted for a few minutes before Albus finally broke the silence.

"I wish I could have a lemon drop," He said with remorse, sighing heavily, looking to the small bowl of aforementioned sweets. Minerva had kept them on the desk in memory of him. Severus's mouth twitched slightly into what constituted as a smile by his standards. Minerva had turned to Albus, a large grin blooming across her face. Harry was still looking at Severus and didn't seem as though he would be speaking or leaving anytime soon. Sighing to himself, Severus decided that if he spoke to him, the idiot boy would go away and leave him in peace. Although being trapped in the same room as Albus Dumbledore for eternity couldn't really be called peace.

"What do you want to know Potter?" Severus asked, raising his eyebrow in a classic move that he had employed many times throughout his life. That seemed to shake the boy out of whatever he had been caught in. Severus would call it a trance, but it wasn't.

"Why did you give Hermione all of those things? I understand you giving me the Pensieve, but why did you give her your library, your home, and your research journals?" Harry questioned, his voice not rising in irritation as it so commonly did when the two were engaged in conversation. It seemed that in this case, old habits didn't die hard after all. Severus sighed once again and pinched the bridge of his nose. He did not want to have to explain himself to the boy, for starters he would never believe when he told him the truth. Secondly, even though he did not actually have a flesh and blood body, it felt as though Severus had a headache coming on. Of course, that was impossible.

"My reasons were my own Potter. I do not have to explain myself to you," Severus replied, surprised that Minerva had yet to intervene with questions. It was obvious she was dying to ask them. The boy opened his mouth to speak but Severus was having none of it.

"Do you have no respect for the dead Potter? Now go, leave me in peace," Severus half snapped, half ordered the younger, alive man. He glared up at Severus's portrait but nonetheless shut his mouth and left the room, muttering his goodbyes to Albus and Minerva. Finally he was alone! Well, as alone as he could be in his situation. Minerva slowly approached his portrait and Severus found himself feeling rather uncomfortable. He knew exactly what was coming, and he wasn't looking forward to it at all.

"Severus, you told me you would answer my questions after I read your will to them. Are you?" The older woman asked, her Scottish intonation far more distinct than usual. Severus found himself sighing, wondering with irritation exactly how many times he had sighed in the past few minutes.

"Yes I will answer them. You must keep your mind open though woman," Severus replied warningly, to which Minerva smiled faintly, before voicing her questions.  
"Firstly, you won't tell Harry why, but I think you will tell me; why did you leave Hermione all that you did in your will?" Minerva asked, completely oblivious to Albus giving Severus the thumbs up from his portrait, eyes twinkling more madly than they ever had done when he was alive. Severus glared at the portrait and Minerva twitched her head as though she were about to turn and look but then thought better of it.

"Minerva, I am going to be completely honest with you for the first time in my life," Severus paused here expecting a strong smile and perhaps a laugh from the woman. He was not disappointed. With that done Severus forged onwards with his answer.  
"Miss- damn it all _Hermione_! She meant a lot to me the year before my death, and she still means a lot to me. I gave her most of my earthly possessions for this reason, that and I know they would not be neglected in her hands," Severus finished, waiting for Minerva's reaction. He transferred his gaze from Minerva to Albus who was smiling broadly at him, still twinkling like a star in the night sky. A sour look quickly crossed Severus' face and he glowered at the old man, and not for the first time, damned him.

"She feels guilty Severus," Minerva said quietly, drawing Severus's attention away from the Headmaster who was grinning like that annoying Cheshire Cat in that Muggle story 'Alice in Wonderland'. Severus nodded his head and thought back to when Hermione had been in the office. The entire time she had been there she had pointedly refused to look in his direction. Anyone could see her guilt, she wore it like one would a perfume or aftershave. It clung to her and followed her every move. Even if Severus had, for some reason, not been perceptive enough to notice it, her apology when she left the room made it clear as day. Severus had no doubt that she was apologizing to him, and he wished desperately that she would at least look at him. She was not responsible for his death, and he held her in no way responsible; quite the opposite actually. In his times of darkness and depression the past two years, the mere thought of her had kept him alive and full of hope. To see her in the guilt induced state that she had arrived in hurt him deeply. There was nothing he could do though, other than wait and hope that eventually, after reading his letters, she would realize that she had not killed him. No, she had kept him alive.

"I know Minerva. Believe me, I know," Severus said wearily, running his fingers through his once greasy hair which was now only ink on canvas, like the rest of him. "God do I know," he whispered softly to himself, hoping that Minerva had not heard. If she had she did not make any references to it, merely moved on to her next question.

"My second question to you Severus; why did you make me give her the letters, and lie to her about how they came into my possession?" Minerva asked, her tone inquisitive rather than angry as it should have been. Severus had wondered when she was going to ask him about the letters. He leaned against the side of his frame, arms folded across his chest, before he answered.

"If she knew I had ordered you to, she would not have read them. The reason I wanted her to have the letters is because I feel that what is contained within them is important for her to know. I want her to know how I felt about her. All I ever did in life was criticize and condemn her. I do not want her to think of me in that way anymore," Severus finished, slightly annoyed with himself at how much he had revealed in his answer. Not all of it had been necessary, but when he had started speaking though, it had come out. Minerva smiled softly at him and nodded her head, obviously satisfied with his answers. She turned and happened to catch Albus's ridiculously large cheesy grin, manically twinkling eyes with, once again, his thumbs up. She laughed loudly and happily and Severus was content enough to hear her laughter.

Even though the war was over, his mind was still burdened with heavy thoughts. He was worried immensely about Hermione and he hoped that his letters would bring some comfort to her, and let her see the truth. One day, perhaps, she might walk into this office and speak with him. One day she may look upon him with that caring, devotion and kindness in her soul. When that day came, Severus knew that he would finally be happy. The world could go to hell for all he would care. He could even fade out of existence and he would not care. If only she could achieve her potential and her ambitions. If only she could love him in some capacity. He had accepted long ago that she would never love him, as he loved her. Still, he had hope. Hermione had brought hope to his life and not even death would stop him from hoping, and continuing to love her with every fibre of his being and every inch of his soul.


	5. October 1996

**Authors note: Apologies for taking so long getting this up. It's a long story, and it would bore you to tears so we'll move on. Apologies in advance for mistakes (I just can't seem to see the little buggers) Hope you enjoy =D - Bee x**

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As soon as Hermione had arrived back at Grimmauld Place Harry had pounced her, demanding to know where she had been and exactly what she had been doing. Hermione had swept past him, glaring slightly as she did so, her arms filled with boxes. Hermione could have magically shrunk the boxes and enlarged them later (she was a witch after all) but had decided against it. It seemed much more fitting in her mind to carry them as they should be carried; size unhampered with and in her arms. The books were rather heavy though so she had cast a little known charm to make them feel weightless. To his credit, Harry followed after her as she progressed up to her room, firing question after question at her. Harry had never been this annoying to Hermione but in those few moments it took to get from the kitchen up to her room, she finally realised why Professor Snape held such animosity towards Harry. Best friend or no, he was being a bloody nuisance and Hermione was ready to snap at him if he didn't desist in his relentless hounding, immediately.

"Harry, can you not see that I'm busy?" Hermione asked, her voice raised in obvious irritation. Then again, Harry, just like Ron, had never been one for noticing the obvious sometimes.

"You just walked out Hermione, and I had no idea where you were!" Harry exclaimed. With that Hermione decided that she'd had enough. She whirled round to face Harry, unceremoniously dropping the boxes on the space of floor separating her and Harry

"I am a grown woman Harry James Potter and I can go wherever the hell I want, whenever the hell I want, to do whatever the hell I want! You have no right to question me!" Hermione retorted angrily, her eyes narrowed slightly. She registered Harry's barely noticeable flinch as she attempting to glare him down. He didn't get her message and give up though

"You will whilst you're living under my roof!" Harry practically bellowed back at her. Hermione shook her head in complete disagreement. Harry opened his mouth to say something else but Hermione cut him off. How dare he address her as though she were a wayward child? She was wiser and more mature than he was by far!

"Then I won't be living 'under you're roof' anymore" Hermione growled furiously. It took all of her self-restraint to refrain from reaching into her pocket, drawing her wand and hexing him into next Tuesday. The prospect was rather delightful and highly tempting to the pissed off young witch. Harry was gob smacked, stunned into silence by Hermione's declaration. She bent and picked up the boxes, hefting them into her arms, before stalking past Harry and back down to the kitchen. There was silence and Hermione expected to hear the sound of quick footsteps against the floorboards as Harry chased after her. She never did hear that sound though, which was fine enough to Hermione. She reached the kitchen and placed the boxes on the ground once more. When they were safe on the ground she dipped her hand into a small pot by the fireplace and grasped the floo powder tightly. She threw it into the fireplace and watched as bright emerald green flames burst into life. Once more Hermione bent and plucked the boxes from the floor before stepping into the flames and calling out 'Spinners End' She hoped that Professor Snape had his house connected to the floo network as the results would not be good if that weren't the case. With a whoosh, Hermione was spirited away to her destination

She was ejected into a room that looked rather familiar. For a few moments Hermione thought that she had somehow ended up back in Professor Snape's apartments at Hogwarts. They were pretty much identical, except these bookshelves were mostly filled and there was a cup of coffee left on the table. Obviously, the man had left his home for the last time in a bit of a hurry. She was in a dead man's house, which had become her house now. Hermione had a house of her own. This meant she didn't have to rely on Harry Potter's charity to keep her with a roof over her head. With her parent's memories wiped permanently and them in Australia, Hermione was on her own. She had sold the Granger family home in order to have money to give her parent's so they could set up their life in the land down under. It had taken Hermione a few months before she had come to terms with that particular necessity, and after everything was finished and everyone left behind tried to recover she had found the only way she could avoid living on the streets was to live with Harry. Now she had a home in her own right, willed to her by a man who she thought had abhorred everything about her. Certainly in his life he had never done anything to try and disprove this hypothesis of her's. It was only after he had died and the war had come to an end that Hermione had discovered some of the truth. Being part of a war had honed Hermione's senses, meaning that she was perceptive enough to realize that she was still missing something; that something was still being kept from her.

Hermione set the boxes down in front of one of the bookcases. She would sit down for a while and then she would place the books onto the shelves where they belonged. Professor, _no SEVERUS_ Hermione reminded herself, had been right in his will when he had bequeathed his 'extensive' library collection to her. From what she had seen so far, extensive was a good word. In this room alone there were probably over four hundred books. The books in the boxes were only a small number of what was still in the Potions Master's private apartments at Hogwarts. The books that the boxes contained were books that had caught and captivated Hermione's interest with their titles. Of course, her hands had itched to read al of the books there as was natural for her. Hermione had managed to limit herself though to about twenty books, all Potions related. She knew well enough to know that they would be advantageous to have on hand throughout her apprenticeship with Horace Slughorn. Not only were they advanced potions texts that Horace might not have in is possession, or Hermione might not have been able to procure herself, but Hermione was sure that Severus Snape would have left some amendments to the texts, just as he had done with his copy of _Advanced Potion Making_ when he was a student at Hogwarts.

Sighing Hermione cast a quick glance around the room, deciding to sit in the centre of the worn rug draped over the floorboards. She eased herself down onto the rug before stretching her legs out. She sat there for a few moments, her mind working through practical details such as when she would have to go back to Grimmauld Place to retrieve her personal belongings, and what she would have to eat for dinner that night. Then Hermione felt a sudden compulsion take her over. Without consciously considering it she reached into her pocket and withdrew the shrunken stack of letters. She enlarged them once again and pulled the second envelope from the stack. She broke the seal and allowed the sheet of parchment within it to fall into her hand, as she tipped the envelope. Hermione discarded the envelope and unfolded the parchment within it. Her eyes scanned over the spidery yet elegant script of Severus Snape, before she began to properly read the letter

_October 1996_

_Hermione_

_I've been keeping a close eye on Draco, wondering exactly when his first attempt to kill the Headmaster is going to take place. The boy can't do it, he hasn't got it within him. To be sure, he is a mean spirited soul, but he hasn't got that power within him to kill. Not yet at any rate. By the time the Dark Lord is finished with him Draco will be well practised in killing and maiming; or be dead. After Lucius' failure at the Department of Mystery's, it was obvious that Draco and Narcissa both were being punished for Lucius's failure. The elder Malfoy himself is in Azkaban, as you know, but I wouldn't be surprised to find out that someone was feeding him information about Draco's task and the repercussions of it. You are not a part of the Dark Lord's ranks, and you never will be in the position to be. You might perhaps end up a victim of his cruel ways, even though I hope it will not be so we must be realistic. Remember this Hermione; the Dark Lord doesn't just kill you. He destroys your mind and your soul, before taking the life from your body. I am not religious in any way at all but I pray to any form of god who is listening that you are not captured by the Death Eaters and taken to the Dark Lord. Although I would wish to, I would not be able to save you. _

_I have spoken to Professor Slughorn, several times, to check up and see how you are faring in Potion's now that I am no longer there to guide and instruct you. Although I would never be able to tell you this when others could hear, you are skilled with the subject. You just need to think and explore the realms of possibility more, and then nothing will be able to stop you. I hope one day that you will chose the discipline of Potions' to specialise in. You would be a spectacular Potions Mistress; perhaps you could even be better than myself, after three decades of practise at the least. If I live through this war and escape prosecution (of which I highly doubt) we would maybe be able to work together. Such a partnership between us would blow the world of potions apart with breakthrough discoveries. We would go down in history_

_I have been keeping a close eye on you Hermione, and you seem to be coping well with all the demands on your person. You have the pressure of studying at an advanced level (which I know you will be making more difficult than it really is) but you also have to deal with the greater threat of capture. You have no concept of how valuable you would be if the Dark Lord got his hands on you. One of the best friends of Harry Potter, the Dark Lord's proclaimed destroyer, the Chosen One. Then there is Ronald Weasley, quite obviously panting over you. Your parents are in such great danger also, because they are your parents and they are muggles to boot. So much to worry about, and yet you take it all in your stride and keep going. It is admirable to say the least. I wish I could do the same_

_You would never be able to tell Hermione but I am struggling. The strain of events is beginning to get to me. This year, it will not be good. I am bound by Unbreakable Vows, and I must commit such horrendous deeds. I have worked for redemption all these years, and to bring justice and good back to the Wizarding World. There will be no redemption for me after what I will have to do. When you find out, I beg of you not to hate me. I do not know how I could handle it if you hated me. You, who has never done so before. You who has had so much faith in me, you who has admired and defended me. Even against your friends you have defended my intentions (for the most part). So please, do not hate me. I could not bear if you hated me. Please_

_Severus_

Hermione sighed heavily, feeling a small ache in her heart and a familiar burning in her eyes. She was going to cry again soon. Hermione had never hated Severus Snape, not once. She had disagreed with actions, and had disliked him sometimes. Never had she hated him though, even after his 'horrendous deed' He had been forced to kill Albus Dumbledore and it was growing clearer and clearer to Hermione that internally, it had killed him to do it. Hermione held the letter close to her chest as she felt the tears began to fall. _Please do not hate me _Hermione leaned back until she was lying fully on the floor. _I could not bear if you hated me_ She screwed her eyes shut and felt the tears slipping down her face _Please _


	6. Visit

**Authors note: Right well, I was a bit Labyrinth obsessed, and then I just wasn't feeling that up to writing anything so apologies for the lack of an update on any of my HP fics. I would give this over to a lovely person whose offered to beta for me, but it has been a while, so I thought I'd just pop it on for you the now. Apologies in advance for any silly mistakes. Despite that, I hope you enjoy the chapter - Bee x**

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Hermione stretched her arms and legs, groaning as she did so. The sun was intruding upon the room and was bathing her in its currently irritating glow. All Hermione wanted to do was to curl back up and go to sleep, but the damned sun was having none of it. She opened her eyes and sat up, ready to throw the covers off her and roll out of bed. When she sat up though she was met with the sight of Severus Snape's _no _**my**_ living room _Hermione corrected. As she looked around she remembered why she wasn't in bed, and as she stood up, cursed herself for falling asleep on the floor. Every muscle in her body felt stiff and if she hadn't have known better Hermione would have thought her back was about to break. _Note to self; floorboards are not your friend_ She groaned as she reached her hand out to grip onto the sofa beside her, using it to hoist herself to her feet. For lack of a better word, she felt shit, and her stomach was aching for food. She sighed heavily and shuffled her way through out of the living room, searching for the kitchen. She needed a cup of tea and some toast, urgently.

Hermione took very little notice of her surroundings as she eventually found the kitchen. Thankfully there was a kettle plugged into a unit at the wall, which Hermione promptly filled with water, before flicking the switch and waiting for it to boil. In the meantime Hermione busied herself with searching for a mug (which didn't take her too long) and teabags. By the time the kettle had reached the boil she had finally discovered a small box in the cupboard above and to the left of the sink that was filled with teabags. If Hermione weren't so focused on getting herself a good strong cup of tea, she would question her moral centre at rifling through a dad man's possessions, even if they were only teabags. Within record time, Hermione had herself a cup of tea and was sitting on one of the kitchen counters, her fingers wrapped round the cup, hands being warmed by the heat of the tea. The tea was too hot for Hermione to drink at that moment but the mere fact that it was there for her, and the wonderful aroma wafting up into her nostrils, was comfort enough. Certainly she felt awake now, and she had a day to plan, not to mention the following weeks. There was so much to be done, and it seemed to Hermione that nothing was going to be simple for her, not for a long time at any rate. She had to adjust to her new arrangements; she supposed she would have to make up with Harry. There was the apprenticeship with Slughorn and, of course, the letters. Those damned letters. She wished she had never read them! Hell, she wished she hadn't been given them. He was dead, but still he was in her life, making her guilt even stronger. The tragic hero, he was even more tragic now, and his death and situation, his friendship, affection, whatever it wanted to be called, struck a chord within her heart. She wished for nothing more than for him to be alive, and for the words she read in his letters to be words he could speak, that silky baritone washing over her and caressing her skin like the sheerest satin. The misery of the matter though; he was dead, and there was nothing she could do to bring him back.

_Anything _Hermione thought _I would do anything for him to live again _As she thought on exactly what she would do, and how far she would go if it brought life and breath back into Severus Tobias Snape's body, Hermione realized that she really would do anything. She would even give her own life in exchange. She wasn't suicidal or depressed (_although those letters might change that_ Hermione thought wryly), she just didn't think that she deserved life as much as he would have. He had sacrificed so much, devoted the years of his life to the cause all to restore right in the world and be that step closer to the redemption he would never grant himself. Everything had been taken from him, even parts of his soul as they fragmented and shattered, eventually culminating in the life being taken from his body. He had not deserved his death. Then again, neither had so many others, but in Hermione's mind, the unsung hero deserved life. If she could have given him it, she would have, but it was not possible. The life he would have lived, he never could live it.

Then a thought struck Hermione and she straightened up her hunched position on the kitchen counter, hands gripping the cup of tea tighter. He could not live his life, for it had been stripped from her. Hermione was alive though. At that moment Hermione made a promise, a resolve that she would follow through. Severus Snape could not live his life, and so Hermione Jean Granger would live it for him.

Hermione lifted the cup of tea to her lips and took a quick sip, the liquid burning her tongue and throat slightly as she swallowed. Hermione had a direction with her life now, and she had a plan. She would start on it soon, and make good on her promise, but perhaps reading another letter would be a good idea. Hermione put the cup of tea down on the counter space beside her as she slipped down onto the cold kitchen tiles. She was about to leave the kitchen to retrieve one of the letters when she heard a tapping at the kitchen window. She looked over and saw a very familiar snowy white owl. Hedwig was pecking her beak against the glass, her thin legs finding purchase on the window ledge. Hermione crossed to the window and pulled it open wide enough for Hedwig to squeeze through. The bird complied and stuck its leg out for Hermione. She quickly untied the letter secured to the owl's leg before breaking the seal of the envelope and pulling out the letter contained within.

Mione

_Harry told me what happened with Snape and the will and all of that. He's being a right prat right now, and I can understand why you left. I'd have smacked him upside the head before leaving though_

Hermione paused in her reading and snorted in a very unlady-like way as an image of Ginny beating Harry about the head entered into her mind. It was very entertaining and she would pay to see it. Shaking her head and dispelling the image Hermione continued reading the letter

_I'm not going to ask you to come back to Grimmauld Place, at least not till someone get's their head checked to see if the prat gland has inflated to the point of bursting_

Hermione could not resist chuckling at that, it was rather funny after all, and as previous discussions had proved, Ginny was convinced that every male brain contained a prat gland, which caused them to act like twits. Hermione disagreed with this; she personally thought men were just naturally morons.

_So could you write back and tell me where you are, I have an idea but I don't want to turn up in case your not there. Then we can settle down, have a good chat, and if you want I can help you ferry Snape's library from Hogwarts_

_Yours_

_Gin _

Hermione finished the letter, a small smile on her face at Ginny's very kind offer. It was something only Ginny would ever offer to help her with. Not for the first time Hermione was incredibly thankful that she had Ginny for a friend, the woman was exactly what the doctor ordered sometimes. Hermione looked up and noticed that Hedwig was sitting there, patiently waiting for a reply.

"Wait here, I'll be back in a minute" Hermione said to the owl before hurrying out of the kitchen and back into the living room. She quickly located her wand and picked it up, rushing back into the kitchen. With her free hand she picked up Ginny's letter, which she had left on the small kitchen table by the window. She flipped the letter on to it's other, blank side and pointed her wand at it, silently casting a spell she had found when researching the charms involved in making the quick-quotes and dicta-quills. She murmured 'Spinners End' and her words were replicated on the parchment. She folded the letter back up and tied it to Hedwig's leg, which the owl had dutifully offered.

"I'll see you later Hedwig, make sure that Ginny get's this will you?" Hermione asked as she gently ran her fingers over Hedwig's soft, snow white feathers. The owl hooted in response and gently nipped Hermione's fingertips as she withdrew her hand from the bird's feathers. Hedwig hopped back outside onto the ledge and, spreading her wings wide, set off on her journey back to Grimmauld Place, leaving Hermione on her own once more. Sighing Hermione shut the window, figuring that she wouldn't have long before Ginny arrived and bombarded her with questions, hugs and surrounding her with speculation and theories. Still, Hermione wouldn't object, she loved her friend too much, and didn't particularly mind. After all, it was far better than the Quidditch talk she had been forced to suffer through from Harry and Ron for the past seven years.

_Perhaps I could tell Ginny about the letters. I mean, I don't really have anything to hide now that I've got his house_ Hermione thought to herself as she set about making Ginny up a cup of tea. They were both true British girls, in love with tea, and firm believers that a good cuppa could solve everything, not to mention tasting brilliant.

Hermione!" She turned her head towards the kitchen door as she heard the sound of Ginny's voice calling out for her. Hermione summoned a tea try with her wand and placed both cups onto the tray. She cast a levitation charm on the tea tray and headed into the living room, her wand pointed at the tray to keep the charm in place. There she found Ginny, her hair slightly rumpled, wearing a pair of simple tracksuit bottoms and a plain grey t-shirt showing no little amount of cleavage.

"Hey Gin, sit down and make yourself home" Hermione said cheerfully, feeling much better now that she had human company in the form of her confidante and friend. Ginny smiled brightly and threw herself down onto the sofa. Hermione levitated the tea tray onto the table before the sofa and settled herself down next to Ginny

"How are you holding up Mione?" Ginny asked, typically going straight for the jugular. Hermione gestured to the tea tray and Ginny nodded her thanks. She didn't reach for the cup though, obviously waiting for an answer from Hermione.

"Honestly Ginny? Not that great" Hermione sighed. She really wasn't, yesterday she had been in tears and even now she still felt sorrow heavy in her heart. Ginny's face was filled with sympathy and she swiftly engulfed Hermione in a warm, friendly embrace filled with all the comfort she could offer. Hermione returned the embrace and held it for a few moments before pulling back

"It must be so hard to be in a dead man's house, knowing that he lived here before. Imagine all those memories" Ginny murmured, almost thoughtfully. Hermione nodded her head in agreement, even though that wasn't really a problem for her. If it weren't for the letters, it might have been. However, the letters occupied her attention, a lot more than Ginny's fact did

"That's not really the problem Gin" Hermione said, feeling that she might as well tell Ginny now rather than leave it. The longer she left it, the less likely it would be that she told her. Ginny looked inquisitively at Hermione, her expression clearly saying 'go on' Hermione took a deep breath before plunging right in, feeling that it would be more beneficial to tell the whole story

"On the day of his funeral, Minerva came up to me and gave me a stack of letters. They were all addressed to me, and they were all from him. I didn't tell any of you; now that I think about it I don't even know why. I've only read two of them so far but Ginny. Oh god, he was in so much pain" Hermione was steady and calm throughout the telling until she reached the end. Then, her voice cracked near the end and she felt a sob attempting to claw it's way free from her. She could remember the phrases clearly **If I ever needed a reminder that no one in this world cared for me, I was given it not that long ago **He had never known or recognized those who cared for him. Hermione knew that Minerva did, it had been more than obvious at the funeral.

**You brought hope to me Hermione, and I will not lose it again, for you. **Such determination to keep what she had unknowingly given him alive.

There will be no redemption for me after what I will have to do Redemption, he could have achieved it, in Hermione's eyes he had. He would never have given it to himself, especially not after being forced to kill Albus Dumbledore.

**I do not know how I could handle it if you hated me **Hermione had gotten a glimpse into the man's soul with those words. She would never be able to hate him, even after what had happened, she had not hated him. Somehow, Hermione had still had faith, even when it seemed as though he was every bit as bad as the other Death Eaters.

**Please. **One word, filled with such desperation, pleading

"Oh Hermione" Ginny said softly, once again pulling Hermione into a hug. Tears feel from her eyes as his words echoed in her mind **Please**. Hermione and Ginny remained like that for a few moments, silent tears falling from Hermione's eyes whilst Ginny rubbed her back and held her close. Eventually the girl's broke apart

"Hermione. Can I see the letters?" Ginny asked, her voice filled with hesitation. Hermione nodded and gestured to the letters on the floor with her wand, silently summoning them. The letters zoomed to her and Hermione handed Ginny the two that she had read, from September and October 1996. Ginny took hold of the September letter and instantly fell silent as she read it. As Ginny read, Hermione reached for her cup of tea and took a deep long gulp of the liquid. It was the perfect temperature now, and Hermione enjoyed the warm feeling that spread throughout her body as she drank it. Ginny finished the first letter quickly, her expression blank as she reached for the second letter, from October. Hermione watched Ginny carefully as the girl read the second letter. When she was finished Ginny sighed and folded the two letters up, handing them back to Hermione. She took hold of the letters and held them tightly in her hand as she placed her cup back on the tray with her other hand. There was silence for a few moments before Ginny spoke.

"Hermione. He was in love with you" Ginny said bluntly


	7. November 1996

**Authors note: Hello again! Here's another update for you. It's short, I know, but I thought that it worked best this way, personally. Thanks to shurfine for giving this a read through, and for her wonderful suggestion about numbering, it was a very good idea. If there's any mistakes in the first little paragrph after 'for you' that's my fault (I added that on after the beta reading was done) Anyway, hope you enjoy =D - Bee x**_

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November 1996

_Hermione,_

_I can hardly believe that this is the fifteenth letter I have written. I would stop but, I still have much to say. You may be sick of reading them, but it is the only way I could write my feelings into words. For you. Every month without fail since the return of The Dark Lord, I have written a letter to you. Yet still I do not have the courage to send any of these numerous letters' to you. It is moments like these where I wonder if I really am a coward._

_Despite myself, I am rather enjoying my position as the Defence Against The Dark Art's professor. The students seemed to be slightly more adept at the subject than potions. It is a lot less stressful; I do not have to worry about potentially fatal or very damaging explosions all the time. It's a good thing, I don't know if I could handle that on top of everything else happening. Draco still won't confide in me about anything that he's planning, and it is so infuriating. His whole battle is frustrating and filled with needless destruction. _

_I know you don't think much of Draco, he has bullied you for so many years, but he is a good soul at heart. He just needs to become his own person, not turn into his father. He has never had the opportunity to follow his own path though. All he knows is to be like his father; Lucius was the boy's idol. Now, he is in Azkaban and Draco is forced to follow through with his plan. The rest of us went into this with our eyes opened, and for the most part, he didn't. He didn't want it. Even I had wanted this Hermione, at first. I want so much to help him, but there is only so much I can do. I cannot free him from this, from the Dark Lord's hold, but I can save his soul. At the expense of my own, but there is little left for me now Hermione. Only you. _

_I cannot write much to you Hermione. Life is quick and becoming hectic. I just hope that these words of mine do not cause you sadness. I can only imagine the circumstances that would allow you to read this. So stay strong Hermione, for all of us. No matter how callous and dismissive of your feelings this might sound, you must be a constant for everyone. You do not realize how much everyone relies on you. If anything should happen to you, whether it be torture or death. Potter would falter; he would fail and die. Weasley would follow the same fate. As for me; Hermione, you are my only reason for living. I continue on for you, and only you._

_I will tell you a story Hermione. There was a young woman I knew many years ago. She was everything for me, and to me. She represented everything good in this world, and I made a mistake, a small silly mistake with such serious consequences. We were separated and I lost her, this woman. I loved her so deeply, and for so many years. She died, and it was my fault. So many sins I am stained with. She had a son, this woman, and he grew up as safe and protected as he could be. You know her son, and I hated him, as soon as I met him. Not because he looked like his father, whom I hated with a burning passion. No, it was because he had his mother's eyes. I would watch him, and I would see those eyes, her eyes, staring at me with such fury and hatred. I could hardly bear it. Not long ago, I realized that she would never have loved me. There was a part of her in her son, and every part of him hated me. I was shattered and broken by this. _

_Then there was you. So caring, so understanding. So much like her. Yet, so different. You forgave, where she did not. You are so beautiful, much more than she ever was. You extended friendship to nearly everyone, and you were so passionate about your causes. The house-elves should have been flattered by your attentions. I digress though._

_Stay strong Hermione. Stay beautiful. Stay wonderful. Stay caring, forgiving and understanding. Never lose who you are, and survive this war. You must live. I must die; it's foolish and cruel to think otherwise, and I can only hope that you can survive this war intact. Do not put yourself deliberately in danger.; you are enough of a target as it is. Foolish girl, just survive, live and grow. My hope, my love... _

_My Hermione,_

_Severus_


	8. The Snowflakes of December 1996

**Authors note: Everything bar the paragraph before the line break and beyond was read through by Shurfine. Rather naughty of me I know but I just felt the urge to add the rest on (without her knowing so shhhh, don't tell) If you don't like my special addition for this chapter, don't worry, I won't be doing it again. Concerning that special addition (I'm sure you'll gather what it is) it changes between bold italics and normal italics, that signals when there should be like a new paragraph you could say, fanfiction won't let me have a big chunk of space between them so you know, so I've had to do it that way. Anyway, hope you enjoy- Bee x**

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Time had passed, as it always does, and within the few months, Hermione's life had returned to some semblance of normalcy. Her days were filled with study, which sometimes ran into her nights. She still kept up with her friends, and occasionally went out drinking with them. It had been months since Hermione had read a letter from Severus Snape, and she was happier for it. At least, that's what she tried to convince herself. After Ginny's shocking discovery, Hermione had refused to speak of Severus Snape, and when anyone else spoke of him she refused to listen. Eventually everyone had realized this and the only times anyone mentioned him now was Slughorn when he complimented her on her work 'Severus couldn't have done it better,' he would sometimes boom, which made Hermione fill up with pride despite herself.

In short, Hermione had experienced a life without him. Part of her knew that it wouldn't last, not with the letters there, constantly seeking her attention. She hadn't bothered to hide them; she would just want to read them more if she did. So every day she would walk past them, and every day she would battle with herself as to whether to leave them or read them.

She wasn't repulsed by his attentions and affections, far from it actually. The reason she didn't want to hear his name, to think of him, or read his letters was her guilt. Now, Hermione had been guilty before, it had festered away within her, choking her in the night with it's vengeance. She still felt that she had killed him. That rational part of her mind knew that there as nothing she could have done for him, not with the events going on around them. Her heart however was a different story. Her soul was fraught with guilt, her heart ached with it. Perhaps she could have saved him, perhaps not, but she should have at least tried. She had not though, and he might have lived if she had. It was that small chance, the 'what if' that haunted her, and haunt it did. To know that he had loved her, and she had never known, nor had she been able to return it. Well.

Hermione could not describe the pain and regret she felt. Love could be redemption, and love could save a person, if it was returned. Severus Snape had never gotten that, not from Lily Evans and then not from her. He had died, thinking that she would never love him. She cared for him deeply; and she had cared for him when he was alive. He was such a brilliant man and in a way, he was the epitome of gothic romanticism. There was the mystery and the secrets, that slight edge of madness that lurked within all of us. He was serious, and imposing. In his classroom, his word was the law, and he was nothing more than a tyrant there. Yet still, Hermione cared for him.

If she could go back in time, Hermione would without a second's thought. No matter what it would chance, hang the consequences and be damned. She would go back and she would let him know that for years she had cared for him, and her feelings had only grown after his death. He loved her, and in some form Hermione could honestly say that she loved him too. It might have made no difference, or the world of difference to him. He could have lived, or he could still have died. At least he would have died with the knowledge that someone cared for him, and didn't see him as means to an end. It was all that he had craved within his letters, and Hermione would have given it to him. Had she of known. It was too late for that though- or so she had thought, until finally, she could stand it no longer. She had to read another letter.

She had been avoiding it for so long, and she couldn't do it any longer. After returning from a heated practical with Horace Slughorn (in which he had dragged her all around the damned Yorkshire Moors, pointing out all the flora and fauna on their way, before instructing her on how to harvest different types of said ingredient) she had decided that she was going to read another letter. The stack of letters sat in the corner of the living room, on a small table, innocent and harmless looking for over three months. Finally, Hermione was going to look at them again.

Pouring herself a glass of strong white wine, figuring that she would need it after reading the next letter, she reclined on the sofa, removing her shoes and curling her feet up underneath her. She accio'd the letters over to her and removed the black ribbon around them, placing it beside her with the letter's she had already read, and the letters she was still to read. She picked up the next one in the pile and opened it, her stomach fluttering with nervousness. She had no idea what this letter would contain.

_December 1996_

_Hermione,_

_So the events begin to move on. The year is drawing ever closer to its end and in turn, I closer to another sin to stain me. I must say you and your 'friends' are rather perceptive, that and Draco is getting sloppy and feeble in his attempts. You are a smart girl Hermione, I am sure you have gathered what is going on. Enough of that though, I do not want to burden your mind more than it already is._

_There are tough times ahead Hermione, but you are resilient. You've demonstrated that through the years. Nothing will stop you, or keep you down for long, not even a Basilisk. I may call you an insufferable-know-it-all but I do not mean it. Your intelligence is astounding, borderline genius, and it has saved your life more than once. Yet you have been in so much danger. I remember the Department of Mysteries well. After Dolohov's curse… I have been frightened only a handful of times in my life Hermione, and one of those times was when you were injured. That curse could very well have killed you. I don't know what I would do if you had died Hermione. You will one day, that is inevitable, but I hope that it is in the very distant future, and not in my lifetime. _

_You are a star Hermione, the brightest in the glittering night sky. You are the glory of nature, and the wonder of the world. The beauty of life with a heart worth so much more than it's weight in gold. You are not a fragile, graceful moronic girl like the others around you are. You are so much more than they ever will be, no matter if the teenage dunderheads around you think otherwise. Remember that. You're modest; you blush and smile shyly when you're around someone you like. You are the embodiment of compassion and caring for your fellow man, even if he doesn't always deserve it. I wouldn't have given Weasley all the chances you've given him. I wouldn't even have given him a first chance. We are so very different though._

_I am very surprised that I have to wheedle information out of Horace about you; he isn't very forthcoming like I would expect him to be. It's always Harry blasted Potter. I have to wonder where this incredible skill of his in Potion's is coming from. Whenever I manage to steer a conversation towards you though. I almost regret it with the amount of praise he gives you. You are doing very well Hermione. Keep it up and I foresee a very bright future in the world of Potions. I hope you do choose Potions as your career; you would do so well. I know you would revolutionise everything, and take the potions world by storm._

_In these dark times Hermione, you have to remember that there is light at the end of the tunnel. We will prevail, and you will live in a bright, safe world. Don't ever forgot that, keep that hope and everything will work out right in the end. Have faith, Hermione dear,_

_Severus_

Hermione sighed heavily, and let the letter go as she reached for her glass of wine. She took a deep sip before replacing the glass. That letter wasn't as bad as some of the ones she had received before. She had been expecting something positively heart-wrenching. That's not what she had gotten. Of course, she was thankful for that. No more tears, at least not for a little while longer. As she sat there Hermione was hit with an idea. Severus had written her letters, thinking she would never receive them. He had never sent them, and it had obviously helped him to write them.

With her idea fixed in her mind and her resolve strong, Hermione summoned a stack of parchment and a self-inking quill. When she had all the items Hermione hesitated for a moment or two before putting quill to parchment and beginning to write out a string of words.

She paused in her writing to take another sip of her wine and, by chance, her eyes happened to land on the envelope of the last letter. Frowning Hermione replaced the wine glass on the table beside her and reached for the envelope. She tipped it and a small folded piece of parchment slipped out. Hermione dropped the envelope and picked the square of parchment up, her curiosity mounting as she unfolded it.

* * *

**_As I look out yonder window_**

**_The crystal flakes enchant me_**

**_Swept up in a furious dance_**

**_Rising and falling like the sea_**

_Their course is never easy_

_Blown apart from where they want to be_

_A ferocious win carrying them away_

_From their hearts desire and to me_

**_Now where is my hearts desire?_**

**_Away from me and not coming back_**

**_At least not anytime soon_**

**_To accept it has become a knack_**

_Away from my lovers pondering_

_Back to these fragile beauty's swirling_

_Taunting me with partial freedom_

_All the while still twirling_

**_I wish to join them_**

**_To become one of their group_**

**_Part of the silent flock_**

**_Integral to their dancing troupe_**

_Then the realization comes_

_I am already one of them now_

_A fragile beauty myself_

_Do you ask how?_

**_This heart that beats in my chest_**

**_It can be cold and is made of glass_**

**_To show it to the world to break_**

**_On that I think I'll pass_**

_My dearest one Hermione_

_This is what you have in your keeping_

_A heart still broken_

_But by you, but no longer seeking_

* * *

He had written a poem, and he had wanted her to see it. Hermione held the poem against her chest, suddenly feeling overcome with emotion. Hermione had always felt that poetry was the expression of a person's soul and their heart. She felt a few stray tears leak from her eyes and she clutched the poem closer. Hermione knew there and then that she would cherish this treasure for the rest of her days. Sighing she picked her quill up with her free hand, the other still clutching the poem tightly, and continued to write, a small smile on her face as she did


	9. A Gift for Miss Granger

**Authors note: Here you go then. Apologies for the lack of update. My dad had his operation so I was playing nursemaid, then my mum injured her wrist and I had to help her out. Then, university started so it was all just the tiniest bit mad. I'm hoping to be more regular with the updates now though cause most of the madness has passed, or is passing- Bee x**

* * *

The letters were always on Hermione's mind, either at the forefront or lurking in the back ready to ambush her. Every time that she focused on the letters, the thoughts that accompanied them were always 'what will I do about these feelings?'

Although it was perhaps wrong for her to feel this way, Hermione could not help but feel for this dark man who had died so senselessly and violently. The guilt, that was still there. Part of Hermione thought that the guilt would always be there, but now there was another emotion, stronger than the guilt. Love. Hermione Jean Granger loved Severus Tobias Snape. There was no two ways about it. That was the problem though. She loved him, but he was dead. What could she do other than continue on with her life, silently nursing her lamenting heart until the day she died. It was not an attractive prospect, but it was all she could think of. At least until Harry had made his visit to her new home of Spinner's End.

* * *

The fireplace glowed green and Hermione had been expecting Ginny to step through onto her hearth carpet. It wasn't Ginny though, but Harry. Hermione sat up straighter in her seat, a questioning expression on her face as she watched Harry carefully. Her occasionally hot-tempered friend looked very happy and Hermione had to wonder exactly why, and what it had to do with her.

"Harry? What are you doing here?" Hermione asked, not particularly caring that she sounded slightly rude to her friend. She wanted to know what had put him in such a happy, cheerful mood. Harry moved over to Hermione sitting on the couch. She moved over to make space for him. For all intents and purposes Harry leapt onto the couch, bouncing slightly as he looked to Hermione.

"The Ministry have commissioned a portrait to be done of me, you and Ron. The Golden Trio who defeated Voldemort, forever immortalized. Isn't that fantastic Hermione?" Harry said excitedly, happily awaiting his friend's response. For Hermione's part, she was overjoyed. Her brain was going into overdrive as she thought of the possibilities and then all of a sudden it struck her. This was the answer to her problem! Hermione finally knew what she could do about her feelings for Severus. She hugged Harry happily, her eyes welling up with tears of joy.

"Oh Harry, it's wonderful!" She exclaimed happily, tears spilling down her cheeks. Harry held onto her tightly, not realizing that she was crying until he let go and pulled back. His expression changed instantly from happiness to sadness and worry.

"'Mione, what's wrong? Aren't you happy?" Harry asked, his voice filled with concern for his friend. Hermione was touched to say the least. She nodded her head.

"Of course I'm happy Harry. I am so, so happy. This is all I could have wanted, and everything I dared not to ask for," She said with a sigh, smiling brightly despite her tears. Harry looked more than slightly confused and Hermione couldn't help but giggle. His expression was amusing to say the least. At her laughter the confused expression lessened slightly and he smiled at her. Sometimes it amazed Hermione exactly how much laughter could affect people.

"I'm not even going to pretend to understand that," Harry said, sounding almost exactly like he had when she had recited something from a textbook. She giggled again and gave her friend another hug. He had his domineering moments and it was a moment like that which had caused Hermione to leave Grimmauld Place. All in all though, she could hardly wish for a better friend, excluding Ginny Weasley of course.

"When are we getting the portrait done then?" Hermione asked, nudging Harry with her elbow as if to prompt him. Harry replied almost immediately after she had finished speaking.

"Next week at the Ministry, the artist will be coming to get us at the Atrium," he replied, the excitement in his voice growing. Hermione smiled and nodded her head, mentally filing that piece of important information away.

"You will be there won't you Mione?" Harry asked, the worry creeping back in. It was obvious how important this portrait being commissioned was to him. It was so very important to her also.

"Harry," she said sternly, her expression reflecting her tone.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," she continued, the stern expression melting away to be replaced with a warm smile. Harry leaned in and embraced Hermione, pecking her on the cheek in an affectionate, brotherly way before standing up. He bid her farewell then disappeared back into the fireplace, heading either back to Grimmauld Place or the Burrow. Hermione had not listened when he had spoken his destination before stepping into the floo network. Her thoughts were focused entirely on the portrait, and the door it was going to open for her. People in portraits, if they had more than one, could move from one to another. During her flight from Gryffindor Tower in Hermione's third year, the Fat Lady had travelled through her various Hogwarts' portraits in fear from Sirius Black. So it was possible for a person in a portrait to travel from one to another, and Hermione was going to make sure that she would be able to do the same.

She smiled happily to herself, leaning back in her seat on the couch, eyes shut and head tipped back slightly. There was only one portrait she wanted to be able to visit though, and nothing was going to stop her. One way or another, Hermione Granger was going to get what she wanted, even if she had to wait years for it.

"This is all I could have asked for. Thank you," she whispered to the empty room, hoping that the unknown and unseen deity that had granted her heart's deepest and strongest desire and sincerest wish (or at least the means for it to accomplished) was listening.


	10. The Ideal Potions Professor

**Authors Note: Just a short chapter. Once more, thanks go to Shurfine for her assistance in beta-reading. I forgot to put this in my authors note for 'Matchmaking' so I'll slip it in here the now. It's another thanks to Shurfine for giving me idea's for the latest chapter of that story. Anyway, back to this one. Hope you enjoy this next chapter. Ciao- Bee x**

* * *

Things at Hogwarts were running smooth enough for Minerva McGonagall. She had been lucky enough to get hold of a half decent Transfiguration Professor who took most of the classes. Minerva dropped in and taught from time to time, as was her want. Filius Flitwick had charms under control as always, and Pomona Sprout was positively beaming with all the potential she could see in her Herbology students. Sybil Trelawny annoyed the living daylights out of nearly everybody, so there was nothing new there. The Defence Against the Dark Art's position had also been filled, and the students were learning from well from their teacher. The only problem for Minerva was Potions. The one man whom Minerva personally thought was the greatest Potions Master who had ever lived was dead, and his imprint hung on her office wall. Horace Slughorn had refused to return to the position, and Minerva had shed no tears over that. The position needed to be filled by someone who knew the subject well, who interacted well enough with the student's and had a more than tolerable personality. Minerva had someone in mind of course, but this particular person was busy completing an apprenticeship, thankfully in Potions. She sighed heavily and placed her head in her hands.

"Is there something bothering you Minerva?" The portrait of Albus Dumbledore asked, hanging behind Minerva. She turned and looked to what had been the greatest wizard alive, and a good friend of hers.

"Yes, there is Albus. This Potion Professor just doesn't have it!" She exclaimed angrily, less than pleased at the poor substitute she had. For now though, she would have to do. As soon as her ideal candidate was finished their apprenticeship, Minerva would be offering them the job, and praying they accepted it.

"I don't think anyone could compare to Severus," Albus said quietly, looking across the room to another portrait. Minerva followed his gaze, her eyes landing upon the portrait of Severus Tobias Snape, who was currently looking a cross between smug and furious at his subject being mishandled by some fool.

"Someone else could, but they are beyond my reach," Minerva said sadly, leaning back in her chair, her eyes fixed on Severus who had his arms folded across his chest. Then Albus chuckled and Minerva immediately spun round to fix her beady eyed stare on him.

"Why do you not ask Kingsley? I'm sure he would make an exception in this case. Miss Granger is a rather extraordinary woman," Albus remarked, smiling fondly, his blue-eyed gaze on Severus. Minerva looked back again to Severus' portrait, nodding her head slowly. That was one avenue of possibility she had not tried. She hadn't even thought of it. Now that she did though, she realized it was perfectly plausible, and that it might very well happen.

"What do you think Severus? Would Hermione do Potion's class justice?" Albus asked, receiving a glare in return from the dark haired man in his portrait by the door. Severus would never let anyone know it but when Hermione had been mentioned he had felt a small thrill coarse through him, that only increasing when Albus and Minerva discussed her taking over the position as the Potion's Professor. She would indeed do his subject justice. He had never praised her in class, he had not dared to, but he had always thought she had astounding skill in his subject, and a formidable intellect to go with it. The only problem is that she had been rather obnoxious about it in her younger years. That may very well have came from some idea she had in her mind that she had to be the best out there to be considered part of the magical world. She had been instrumental in saving it from a psychotic maniac who should never have been allowed to live in the first place, in Severus's opinion. She had more than earned her place in the wizarding world.

"She would suffice," Severus said, not wanting to appear too happy at the idea of Hermione teaching his beloved subject of Potions. Albus nodded, his smile growing slightly brighter. Severus narrowed his eyes at that, wondering exactly what the man was going to say.

"Severus seems rather thrilled at the idea Minerva. If I were you I would get in contact with Kingsley immediately," Albus eyes were infused with his twinkle and Severus narrowed his eyes in severe distaste. He was not happy to say the least and Minerva had to stifle a laugh at the murderous glare that Severus threw at Albus. Albus' reply was to reach for a bowl of sherbet lemons that had been painted into his portrait and to pop one into his mouth.

"Damn you old man!" Severus exclaimed angrily. The old man in question merely smiled and started sucking on the sherbet lemon in his mouth. Minerva cleared her throat and shuffled a few papers on her desk, hoping that this would grab both men's attention. It did, and they both looked to her, ready and eager (in Albus' case at least) to assist the current Headmistress of Hogwarts, as was their job now. It was rather cruel to say, but this was really their only reason to exist now.

Minerva frowned as an unopened letter, with Hermione Granger's scrawl on it, caught her attention. She immediately pounced upon the letter and wrenched it open, mentally scolding herself for having missed it in the first place. She felt both men in their respective portraits, staring at her as she opened the letter.

"Read it out loud Minerva," Albus said gently, not wanting to seem as though he were ordering the fiery Scottish woman around. Minerva complied and started speaking.

"_I have fantastic news Minerva. Harry came to Spinner's End recently, when I had been expecting Ginny, and told me something so wonderful. The Ministry has commissioned and artist to paint a portrait of Harry, Ron and myself. Can you believe it Minerva? This was everything I had been hoping and wishing for. Oh how I cried. Harry thought they were tears of sadness but no, for once my tears were shed in joy, for all my heart desire's now will be mine. If you have any spare moments please do come visit. It is so lonely in this house sometimes. I am forever grateful for Ginny being here. I will be partaking of something as simple as cleaning and I will find something of Professor Snape's. My heart aches at the thought of him Minerva. So many hopes, dreams and desires. So much love in his heart, that he never had the chance to show. Well, now I know, and I can say without any shadow of a doubt, that I feel nothing but love for this man. How silly of me I'm sure. I know I could better place my affections, but I would not want them anywhere else. Severus Tobias Snape was a remarkable, brilliant man and I only wish I could have known him well in life. Yours, Hermione Jean Granger,"_ there was silence and then Minerva folded the letter up and slipped it back into it's envelope. Other than that movement though, she remained still and silent.

"My dear boy, whatever did you write in those letters?" Albus asked. Minerva nodded her head in agreement, waiting for Severus to respond. He had his head in his hands and remained like that for a few moments before lifting it up and glaring out at Minerva and Albus.

"Everything!" He growled out sharply. He sighed and ran his fingers through his black hair.

"Every feeling, every thought. Just everything I ever wanted," he sighed mournfully and turned his back on Minerva and Albus. Minerva looked to Albus who shook his head before mouthing 'leave him be'. Minerva nodded and looked to her desk. She reached for a spare sheet of parchment and, when she found one, reached for her quill. She started composing her letter to their current Minister of Magic, Kingsley Shacklebolt.


	11. The Offer

**Authors Note: Well, after a long, long time I can happily say that I have a new chapter for you. Hooray! It is only a small one, simply because it is filler. This is the second to last chapter. The next one will be the end of this short road. I hope you have enjoyed it so far, and you continue to do so. **

* * *

Of all of the people to have issued a summons to her, she was not expecting it to have been Kingsley. She was still on friendly terms with him, even though he was now Minister of Magic. This did not mean she had any special favours open to her of course, those days were long over. Kingsley ran a tight ship and if he even heard a whisper of potential corruption, the entire Ministry would be on their tiptoes, wondering who was going to go next. He was the fair man with the iron first. It was just what Hermione thought they needed at this moment in time. The war had not been long over, and there are some people who still would not be silent. It was a delicate time and it needed to be handled with just the right mixture of justice and sternness. Kingsley had that, in spades.

She had dressed carefully that morning, not even allowing a stray hair to be out of place. Her appearance had to be impeccable, as did her timing and she herself. This was important, she knew that much. Kingsley would not have made the effort to contact her and tell her to come to the Ministry if it had not been. It was not that he did not care about her and her troubles, more that with his current job he did not have the time to. Thus, her logic dictated to her that if he was doing such a thing, it would be concerning something very important. Several possibilities crossed her mind and not all of them were one's she wanted to really entertain.

Once she was ready and prepared for the meeting, she left Spinner's End and made her way to the Ministry of Magic. After all that had happened, it was still a little difficult for her to enter the place. The memories of what it had become, even if it was only for a short time, still assaulted her when she entered the building. It wasn't the same as it had always been on the few times she had visited it and so she struggled to reconcile it with before. The after of Voldemort and his Death Eater's taking control was different in several key ways to the before, and Hermione had to say she was more than a little pleased. If it had been the same as before, it would be difficult to comprehend that the events of the past year had occurred. As strange as it seemed, she needed a tangible, physical reminder that control had been wrested. The scars left from Bellatrix just weren't quite the sort she was looking for.

The current Ministry, under Kingsley, was a much more open place. Kingsley was of a fairly similar mind as Hermione herself, and after the oppression that had been before, he was more than focused on creating a more free environment, and not just for witches and wizards. There were many who disagreed with his policies, but he was the Minister of Magic for a reason. Kingsley was no tyrant, he was just good at presenting points to others, and soothing their concerns about what he was doing. His morals were strong, and after being in the Order of the Phoenix, and fighting on the front line against Voldemort and his Death Eaters, freedom ran in his blood. It was a novel concept that Hermione would have to get used to, that someone in the highest position of power agreed with her stance on the rights of other magical beings.

Hermione arrived at the Ministry and successfully managed to make her way up to the Minister's Office, without any real hassle or bother from anyone. They all knew who she was by sight, and for the first time Hermione had to concede to the fact that there was some benefit to a small amount of fame. After all, if it wasn't for her fame, then her dream concerning her and Severus would never come to pass.

Taking a deep breath and straightening her clothes, even though they didn't need to be straightened, she rapped smartly on the door to the Minister's Office. The door was opened and Hermione stepped in shyly, not sure on exactly what to expect. The sight of Kingsley sitting behind the desk, with a smile on his face, was reassuring to her.

"Thank you for coming here Hermione. You can sit down." Kingsley said, his voice as deep and soothing as always. Hermione smiled nervously and sat down as Kingsley had indicated. She clasped her hands together in her lap and waited for Kingsley to speak again.

"I want to talk to you about something important. It isn't anything to worry about." Kingsley added on the last to reassure Hermione. Either her nervousness was very evident, or he was just used to picking up on emotions, no matter how well or badly masked they may be.

"I have received a request from Minerva McGonogall that I feel may be of some interest to you." Kingsley started, pausing to give Hermione some room to speak if she wished to. Hermione was more than confused about what was going on now that Minerva had been mentioned. Her confusion took precedence over her nervousness and she surprisingly enough found herself more relaxed.

"How so Minister?" Hermione asked, remembering to be as respectful as possible. She may be on friendly terms with Kingsley but she had to show him what he was due as Minister of Magic.

"It is concerning you. I have been asked to approve the request that you take up the position as Potions Mistress. I have been assured that although you have yet to complete your apprenticeship training with Horace Slughorn, you are more than capable to fill this position." Kingsley stated, unable to avoid chuckling a little at the expression on Hermione's face. Her mouth had hit the floor and her eyes were widened with shock. She could hardly believe what she had just heard. It could not be possible! She wasn't properly trained yet, nowhere near it, she still had years to go.

"Begging your pardon Minister, but how would I be able to take up the position? I am only 19 years old and have not yet finished my training." Hermione asked, both curious and unable to wrap her mind around how it could be.

"Minerva assures me that you are more than capable, and how you conduct yourself in the position and your abilities to teach are more her concern than mine. I know you Hermione, and I believe that you could teach Potions effectively with your eyes shut and hands tied behind your back." Kingsley said, finishing with a large smile and a twinkle in his eye that was so reminiscent of Albus Dumbledore. It was more than soothing to her. She smiled in return and then started laughing.

"I can hardly believe it Minister. For two very important and influential individuals, you and Minerva, to have so much faith in me is both a comfort and amazing." Hermione replied, her eloquence failing her in the end. This was so mindboggling, it was difficult for her to take it all in. It was probably going to take a few days before it really, properly hit her.

"Then I wish you all the best in your future career, Professor Granger." Kingsley said, standing up from his chair and holding his hand out. Hermione stood up and took hold of his larger hand, shaking it firmly.

"Thank you Minister. I hope that when I see you again it is under circumstances as happy as these." Hermione stated before heading towards the door.

"As do I Professor Granger, as do I." Kingsley settled himself down in his seat and even though she had her back to him, Hermione was sure that he could see her beaming smile as she left his office.


	12. One Last Time

**Authors Note: It's been a long time but I had a lot to get done and sorted. I have decided to give you another chapter after this one, simply because this one was a lot longer than I had originally intended for it to be. It just finished on a perfect note. Enjoy! Last chapter should be up by the end of the week- Bee x**

* * *

Hermione had never thought that this would be the end of the road for her. Not once had she even began to envisage that this was how her life would end. When she had been a teenager at school with Harry and Ron, she had never even considered that she would live past her eighteenth birthday. The war had been so all consuming and the presence of death had been so heavy on all of their minds, it had been difficult to think that she would make it through when they had lost so many already. If they had not rescued her then she probably would have met her demise at the hands of Bellatrix Lestrange.

Now, as she thought back on it all, she was ever more glad that she had been rescued; else she would never have known all that she did. She would never have known of Severus and his love for her, she would never have grown to love him in return and all the other wonderful occurrences of her life would never have been.

"I have had a good life." She croaked out, holding her hand out to reach that of her nephew, Albus Severus Potter. It had brought tears to eyes when Harry and Ginny had named him as they had. The boy had always been her favourite out of all her nephews and nieces, for they were, even if not by blood.

"You'll get through this Aunt Hermione." Albus said quietly, cracking a small smile. She could tell by the expression on his face that he was struggling to comprehend the fact that his words might not be true. His face was always so open when he was around his family. He was his parents' son through and through, and he had made all of them so proud and Hermione knew that he would continue to do so. Sorrow shot through her heart as she recalled the children she might have had but had never been able to, and that she would not live long enough to see Albus' accomplishments in full. The boy was destined for far more.

"Do you know, when you were a baby your parents and I took you to see your namesakes." Hermione coughed after she had finished speaking, the words straining her voice and throat. She still had far more to say, but there would not be enough time. She knew that one as well as she knew her own name.

"They did?" Albus asked, hesitantly and questioningly. Judging by his response, he had clearly never known. Either that, or Harry and Ginny had tried to tell him and he had never listened to them. Sometimes when Albus was so focused, he tended not to notice what was around him. Usually his focus was writing letters to Scorpius. Hermione nodded her head on the pillows in answer to his question.

"Albus was so proud and Severus…" Hermione tailed off as she remembered the moment fully, as clear and as bright as the lights were above her.

_Hermione had been so nervous about this moment, and had been for days. Albus wasn't going to be a problem, but Severus was a whole different matter entirely. He and Harry had a grudgingly mutual respect for one and other. Or so Hermione had thought, up until this point. She had asked Ginny if it had been her idea for Albus' middle name but she said that it had not been. It had been chosen by Harry and Ginny and she had jokingly informed Hermione that she had dibs on the name of the next child because 'Harry has chosen our two sons already'._

_Twisting her hands together, rubbing them and trying to resist the urge to bite her nails, Hermione had strode into the Headmistresses Office, holding it open wide enough for Ginny and then Harry to pass with their precious prince in Harry's arms. _

"_Professor Dumbledore, Professor Snape. We have someone we want to show you." Ginny announced with a smile, gesturing to Harry who was standing behind her, cradling their second son in his arms. _

"_This is Albus Severus Potter." Harry said, unable to keep the grin off his face. He was so happy and his smile was so infectious that Hermione's nervousness melted away and she started smiling too. The older Albus (Dumbledore) was beaming and he also appeared to be blushing, whereas Severus' scowl had grown even more pronounced than she ever remembered it being. That was, until Ginny moved the blankets so they could all see little Albus' face. Then, Severus' scowl was replaced by a mixture of astonishment and something else that Hermione couldn't quite place. If she had known better she would have said that it was longing on Severus Snape's face. _

"_Well done Potter. He looks… healthy." Severus commented, his voice slightly thicker than usual. He tried to tear his eyes away from the youngster's face but he seemed to be struggling to do so. When he eventually looked away it was to look at Hermione. She blushed and smiled, resisting the urge to be very cheeky and blow him a kiss. _

"_He looks more than healthy Severus. He's a wonderful looking boy. I am more than sure that he will outstrip our achievements combined. Why did you name him so Mr and Mrs Potter?" Albus said, his smile having grown wider than it was only moments before. _

"_He was named after the greatest Headmaster's of Hogwarts, and one of them the bravest man I ever knew." Harry said, his eyes flickering over to Severus' portrait before he looked down at his son. Hermione wiped the moisture from her eyes, trying desperately hard not to cry. Harry was right. Dumbledore had a tear in his eyes but did not make any attempt to wipe it away. _

"_Oh Harry my boy. You should be so very proud." Dumbledore said, his hands shaking a little. _

"_Very well then Potter." Severus said gruffly, a surprise for Hermione. She honestly thought he would never have said anything at all. In one way or another, Severus' name was going to live on. _

* * *

"Oh, I wish you had remembered." Hermione said to Albus with a weak smile. He had been far too young at the time to have remembered, and Hermione was sure that he had been asleep for most of the whole event. He had slept a lot when he was a baby, never one to be particularly restless. His older brother had been the total opposite. Harry and Ginny had named their sons appropriately alright, they did take well after their namesakes.

"Aunt Hermione, would you like some water?" Albus asked, already reaching over to the jug and goblet beside her bed. Hermione shook her head on the pillows. She didn't want to spend the time that she had left drinking water, not when she had so much more to say.

"You remember your first Potions Lesson don't you?" Hermione asked, hoping that he would indeed, because she remembered it very well too. It had been the first time she had seen her favourite nephew in her class that was memorable. Albus nodded his head.

"Everyone got such a fright." Hermione said, trying not to laugh, because she knew it would hurt too much.

_Hermione finished off the last touches to her hair with her wand. She was always very meticulous with her hair. It had to look the same, all the time else there was no point in any of it at all. She smoothed a hand down her robes and did a last quick check. Yes, she was happy with her appearance. This was the first potions lesson that Albus was going to be in, and it also happened to be the first lesson that she would be able to finally meet Malfoy's sprog. Hopefully, he wasn't too much like his father else she was going to be in for a lot of pain, seven years of it. _

_She opened the door of her office and strode down towards the dungeons. In order to be able to better help her Gyrffindor students, she had been placed in Minerva's old office, a place that she had many memories of. Her classroom though was down in the Dungeons. _

_Hermione swept down the corridors, the students that were milling around already parting like the red sea in front of her. That was the expected reaction, many of them had heard of her predecessor after all, even if it was only from older siblings, cousins and, for many of them, parents. _

_It didn't take her all that long to reach the Dungeons. She had coerced Severus into telling her all the secret passageways he had used to make use of to sneak up on students and scare them half to death. He had given her this information on the condition that she used it to scare some of the students. It was not something she had been particularly argumentative concerning._

_She seen her students all lined up outside the classroom, and thankfully none of them had spotted her. She approached the boy at the back of the line, who was standing beside Albus. Hermione hoped that they were friends with each other. _

"_Welcome to Potions Class everyone. File in neatly and quietly, take a seat and then listen closely. I might test you on this lesson." Hermione said, making her voice as soft and silky as possible. The blonde boy she had been standing behind turned around, along with Albus and the rest of the class. The colour drained out of his face and Hermione had to try not to chuckle. The boy was Malfoy's son alright, and he looked as though he had just seen a ghost. Albus was looking at her with wide eyes, confusion written all over his face. He had been expecting his Aunt Hermione; instead he had been given Professor Hermione Jean Snape. _

* * *

"The expression on Scorpius' face." Albus said, a smile twisting across his lips. He had always found that one particularly amusing, and Hermione had always relished that memory. Now that she knew him a little better, due to the nature of his relationship with Albus, Hermione knew that he was a reasonable young man and so the relish she took from the memory was a little on the cruel side. She had been expecting a Draco Junior, and she had not been given that.

"Yes, I remember when it seemed like you two weren't going to be together." Hermione remarked sadly. Albus sighed and his shoulders slumped a little as he nodded his head. It seemed she wasn't the only one who recalled that memory as clear as day.

_Hermione had been sitting in her office, marking her fifth year's potions essays. She had just finished marking Scorpius Malfoy's and was moving onto Albus', when the door was flung open. She looked up, a scowl on her face reminiscent of Severus'. Finally, she understood why he had been so grumpy sometimes. Marking essays was very annoying, and so was being disturbed. The scowl disappeared immediately as soon as she seen that it was Albus in the doorway. _

"_Come in and shut the door." She said, not even thinking to admonish him. Albus always knocked whenever he wanted to come into her office, even if she was expecting him, or knew he was outside. That was just the way he was. So for him to throw open the door in such a manner… Well, that could mean only one thing, something was wrong. _

_Albus shut the door and sat down opposite Hermione's desk, as she had instructed. He sighed and put his head in his hands. Hermione stood up from her seat and moved over to kneel down beside him in the chair. _

"_What's wrong Albus? You can tell me, you know that don't you?" Hermione said, wanting to find out as quickly as possible what was wrong with her nephew. Albus looked up and started speaking, tears snaking down his face. Hermione just knelt there, trying to take it all in. When he had finished, she sighed heavily and embraced him in a hug filled with all the love and comfort she could muster._

* * *

"You certainly shocked me." Hermione commented, humming a little. Albus nodded his head in agreement and laughed. He had always found everyone's individual reaction to his sexuality hilarious, once he had stopped stressing and worrying. Hermione had taken it on the chin and had even given him some reasonably solid advice to keep in mind.

"Did you ever find out Albus?" Hermione asked after he had stopped laughing. He nodded again and let out a deep breath.

"Yes, you were right. I can understand now that I think back to it. He is a Malfoy after all, and his dad wasn't exactly thrilled when Scorpius told him, even less when he said that it was me he was with." Albus explained, shuddering a little as he remembered Draco's reaction.

"Ferret came round eventually though." Hermione wheezed before she started coughing violently. It felt as though her lungs were being torn apart. She barely registered Albus holding onto her to try and help she assumed. When the coughing and the pain subsided, she leant right back into her pillows. Shutting her eyes for a few seconds and focusing on her breathing. She still wasn't finished.

"Don't talk anymore Aunt Hermione. It's hurting you too much." Albus commented. Hermione shook her head and opened her eyes.

"Do you and Scorpius want children?" Hermione asked. She had stopped focusing on the past. Now she wanted to know of the future that she was going to miss. Albus was silent for a few moments, clearly trying to choose the right words. Hermione had seen that many times before.

"I want to." Albus said seriously and firmly. He certainly sounded like he wanted to, and the determination in his face cheered her greatly. There was a but though, and she knew that. She raised an eyebrow quizzically.

"Scorpius doesn't seem as keen as I am." Albus confessed. Hermione nodded her head. That was something she had kind of been expecting. If she had to guess at where it came from, she would be looking at Ferret and his opinion.

"You need to talk about it." Hermione said, pausing to take a few more breaths. It was starting to become difficult for her now.

"A child is a lot of responsibility. Love, comfort, you need to give them that." Hermione's voice started wobbling and she inwardly cursed her body, for what had to be the 20th time that day. Albus nodded, taking all of it in.

"If you can, have a child together. Not everyone is lucky enough to have that opportunity." Hermione whispered, turning her head away for Albus to look in the opposite direction. She didn't want him to see the tears she could feel sliding down her cheeks. It had been her pain for many years that the Granger line would end with her, and that she would not have a child. She had made a vow years ago though, and she had kept to it. As much pain and anguish as it had caused her, she would have no child that was not of her and the man she loved.

"Aunt Hermione?" Albus said, placing his hand on Hermione's back and rubbing it in soothing circles. She was so thankful to have him with her near the end. It was better than having no one.

"Where is your Uncle Ron?" Hermione asked, wondering for the first time why Ron hadn't come to visit her. They had experienced many arguments and fissures had cracked open between them but it was too hurtful an idea to think that he would not come and visit her before the end.

"He's been detained in America Mum says. Dad left yesterday to try and get him back." Albus explained. Hermione smiled and shut her eyes. She knew that Harry had gone to retrieve Ron from America for her. The Golden Trio united once more before they were broken.

There was silence and Hermione shut her eyes. With one of her hands free she waved it in a clear sign for Albus to leave her.

"Let me sleep Albus. Let me sleep." Hermione murmured. She felt Albus stand up and pat her on the back before she slipped into the realm of dreams once more.

* * *

Hermione was woken from a dream of her and Severus by a hand shaking her shoulder gently. She cracked her eyes open, pain shooting through her system once again. What she would give not to feel pain when she was awake. She turned around to face whoever it was who had woken her up.

Two faces swam into focus and Hermione felt herself tearing up again. Albus had been replaced by his father, and his uncle. The unmistakable faces of Harry James Potter and Ronald Billius Weasley brought sheer joy to her.

"Harry. Ron. You made it." Hermione wheezed again before another coughing fit wracked through her. When it subsided once more, she was met with the most concerned and sorrowful expression she had ever seen on Ron and Harry's faces in many years. For a split second, she thought that they were back in the war at the Battle of Hogwarts.

"We weren't going to leave you without seeing us Hermione." Harry said sincerely.

"Yeah, you're not that lucky." Ron pitched in, attempting to smile reassuringly and failing. She could see her friend's pain written all over their faces and in their bodies.

"At least I got to see you one last time." Hermione gasped out, her hands reaching out to take hold of Ron's and Harry's.

"You won't get away from us for long Hermione." Harry said, trying to be playful and joking as well. She could tell though that this was just as painful and hard on him as it was on her.

"I want to sleep." Hermione said, trying to resist the urge to just slip away again. She had been having such a wonderful dream.

"Of course Hermione, we'll be here when you wake up." Harry said with conviction, gripping tightly onto Hermione's hand.

"We aren't going anywhere." Ron affirmed. Hermione leant back against the pillows and closed her eyes to dream again. She would see Harry and Ron again when she woke up. For now though, she would sleep.


	13. The End and The Beginning

It had been difficult for everyone who had been close to Hermione. They had taken small consolation in the fact that she had been resting in sleep. Although they had managed to see her at the end, Harry and Ron had both cursed themselves that they had not arrived earlier. Albus on the other hand was grateful that he had chosen to come and visit her on that day. He had been with her nearly the entirety of that day and the evening. The entire experience had been hard for him, and that night when he had returned home, he had taken comfort in Scorpius' arms, distraught. He had known what was coming.

On the 22nd September, Hermione Jean Granger Snape had peacefully passed from the world. The light of the Golden Trio had been extinguished; now it was just Harry and Ron who were left. Hermione had gone to a place that neither of them would be able to follow, at least not for a little while. For the first time in their life, they would have to go it alone.

The funeral had taken place a few days letter and it had been a very sad affair to say the least. The entirety of the Hogwarts faculty had showed up, there were some members of the ministry, the Weasley family, the Potter family, the Malfoy family. Even the Minister of magic had showed up with her companion, and that really was an honour. Rainey Maguire didn't really have much time to spare. She had taken a seat at the very back, despite several other's urging her to move closer to the front. As was in her stubborn nature though, she would not move any further forward lest she run the risk of causing offence. She had not known Hermione well after all.

Much to Scorpius Malfoy's delight, his cousin Marina Krum had emerged from hiding to attempt to support him as best she could. She was well aware that this would be an upsetting but mainly awkward experience for him. She was also showing respect and reverence for a woman who had been nothing but a friend to her, and who her own father had once declared had been the love of his life. Viktor had been unable to make the journey, and Marina made sure to tell this to the Potter's and the Weasley's.

"Unfortunately my father will not be able to make the journey. He passes on his best wishes and regards though. My mother would join me here but she never really knew Hermione well." Marina stated, her accent long gone but her pride in her homeland still strong within her. It was a lie, for the most part, but it was far less damaging than the truth. Her father had been inconsolable and there would have been no way that he would have managed to attend. When news of her death had reached him, it had been the final straw for her parents. Marina's mother had left and she was now residing permanently in England, leaving her father in Bulgaria to mourn the once love of his life. He had never really moved past the feelings he had for Hermione. At the same time though, he had still loved her mother, and it had broken him inside.

"That's okay Marina, we understand. It was good of you to come." Ginny had said, holding her arms out to embrace Marina. She roughly embraced the red haired woman and then let her go, quickly moving to lay a supporting hand on Scorpius' shoulder.

"You are a Malfoy before all else. We are strong." Marina said, squeezing Scorpius' shoulder and then moving away to find a seat. As hard as Scorpius would look to try and find her, he would not be able to. That was the last time he was ever to see his cousin. Sadly, Marina had been suffering many years from the pain left over from the explosion that had killed her entire workforce in Rome, apart from herself. The pain had been too much, and the dark magic that had damaged her heart eventually got the best of her, and she died a few months later.

The funeral of Hermione Granger Snape had announced for the world to know that she had been the brightest witch of her age, one of the kindest witches in all Britain and that she had been an example for generations after. It had covered the sad fact that she left behind no children of her own blood, and that she had never married.

Harry Potter had stood through the service to make a personal speech of his own concerning his dear friend.

"Hermione has been my friend for decades, and we had only once faltered in our friendship, through no fault of her own. Hermione had always been the more mature one, and I had still had a lot of growing up to do at the time. Still, we managed to move past that and our friendship became as close as ever. Through time and experience, we had grown apart physically but in our hearts, our friendship had only grown stronger. She is just as dear to me as my own beautiful wife, my wonderful children and the entirety of my family. I will miss her so much, but I will be happy in the knowledge that where she is now, she will be so very happy. As we bid farewell to our friend here today, I know that right now she is exactly where her heart had longed to be for years. Thank you." Harry had then returned to his seat and had unashamedly cried, burying his face into his wife's shoulder and taking comfort in her arms.

_5 months later_

Albus and Scorpius had been discussing the matter since Albus' aunt had passed away. Finally, they had decided and agreed that they would try for a baby. Albus had been over the moon, to say the least, and he had been telling everyone in his family all about it. Scorpius had been very reluctant to do the same but he had eventually managed to stutter out to his father that he intended to have a son with Albus. Draco had taken it surprisingly well, and was more proud that Scorpius wanted to continue the Malfoy family name, even if it was with the son of Harry Potter.

It had only taken Albus a matter of a few days to tell everyone he knew, and then there had been only one person left to tell. For that though, he had to journey to Hogwarts.

It had not taken very long to reach Hogwarts, and had knocked on the door of Headmaster Longbottom's office, hoping that he would be inside. He had been pleased that Headmaster Longbottom had been in his office and not sequestered away in his greenhouses, as was usual for him.

"Hello Headmaster Longbottom. How are you and Mrs Longbottom?" Albus had questioned politely.

"Hello there Albus! Good to see you back again. Ah, Hannah and I are doing fine. I still do miss her quite a lot though, and Stephanie too." Neville had replied, gesturing for Albus to take a seat.

"Is she not staying with you now?" Albus asked, taking a seat in front of Neville's desk.

"No, she won't be back till Christmas. She wanted to spend the autumn with Hannah in France." Neville explained a touch of sadness in his voice. He really did miss his daughter and his wife. Hannah Longbottom's job had been hard on Neville, but it had thankfully not affected their relationship.

"Oh, well I am sure she misses you too." Albus said, smiling gently. Neville nodded his head in return and leant back in his chair.

"Yes. So, what can I do for you today Albus? You are very lucky to catch me; I was actually just about to head down to greenhouse 3." Neville explained.

"I was actually here to see Aunt Hermione, I have some really important news to tell her. " Albus stated. Neville pointed to a space just behind Albus and he turned. The portrait of Albus Dumbledore, one of the men he was named after, beamed down at him proudly. Beside Albus was the portrait of Severus Snape, the other man Albus was named after. However, Severus did not even acknowledge Albus; he was far too busy with his sweetheart.

Neville coughed loudly.

"Hermione, you have a visitor." Neville called loudly.

Hermione Granger Snape pulled away from the passionate kiss she had been sharing with Severus Snape and looked around, a little curious to see who was visiting her. When her eyes landed on Albus she smiled brightly and waved at Albus.

"ALBUS! Oh how I have missed you! Why did you never come to visit me before?" She questioned, just the tiniest amount of hurt in her voice. Severus tightened his grip around Hermione's waist and pulled her a fraction closer to him.

"I did Aunt Hermione; you just weren't ever at the Ministry when I came by." Albus explained. Hermione nodded her head and placed her hand on Severus'.

"Yes, I have been a little pre-occupied. What can I do you for today?" She asked, looking away from Albus to smile at Severus. Severus' lips twitched a little into a small smile which he very quickly wiped off his face and replaced with this trademark scowl.

"Scorpius and I have been talking, and we have decided that we are going to have a baby together!" Albus exclaimed excitedly, jumping up and down happily. Hermione squealed and clapped her hands together.

"OH! That's wonderful Albus! I am so happy for you!"

"Congratulations are in order Potter. " Severus stated, nodding his head in Albus' direction. Albus blushed a little and lowered his head. He always did get terribly embarrassed whenever Severus Snape spoke to him.

"Yeah, we have already decided on a name, if we have a girl." Albus said, looking back up at Hermione. Hermione cocked her head to the side a little, inquisitively.

"Oh?" She questioned.

"Yeah. We spoke about it and we both thought it was the best name. Hermione Marina Malfoy Potter." Albus said shyly. Hermione was silent for a few moments before wiping her eyes to avoid any potential tears that she had begun to feel welling up.

"After me and his cousin." Hermione explained to Severus who nodded his head.

"Oh, Scorpius really does miss her a lot." Albus stated, sighing heavily.

"Why? What happened to her?" Hermione asked.

"She died, about a month ago. She had a strong heart, but the explosion when we were in school... It had damaged her more than we had ever thought it would." Albus explained sadly. Hermione bowed her head respectfully.

"She always had been a strong woman, strong mind, strong will and a strong heart. I hope wherever she is now that she is in peace." Hermione commented. Albus nodded.

"We spoke to one of the doctors at St Mungo's. He said that she had been on some very heavy pain potions for years and eventually even they had stopped working." Albus said sadly.

After that, the conversation had turned to nicer topics and eventually Albus had left with Neville.

"Is she happy with him Headmaster Longbottom?" Albus asked as they made their way down to the grounds of Hogwarts.

"I haven't seen her that happy in years." Neville replied.

"Then I am glad. She had been waiting to be with him for years." Albus commented.

"Let's just hope they don't have an argument." Neville said jokingly. They both laughed and then Neville bid Albus farewell. Neville retreated into his greenhouse and Albus made his way down the path to Hogsmeade to return home.

Hermione Granger Snape and Severus Snape remained with each other for the decades following on from her death, and centuries later they were still together with one and other. After Harry and Ron had passed, Hermione had split her time between Hogwarts with Severus and the Ministry with Harry and Ron. As they years had passed by, they had watched the families they loved and cared for growing larger and brighter. They had watched new lives grow and older lives pass into the next world, and for the rest of their days they would do this, together.

Hermione Granger Snape and Severus Snape, a couple who had been brought together after the wounds of war had been inflicted, and a couple who had waited decades before they could be with one and other. For centuries after, they had been known as the love story of Hogwarts, and no one would ever forget their names. They had found their happiness within each other's arms, and they could wish for nothing more than that.


End file.
